i wish i could run away from this feeling. like in those commercials where the clouds follow people around, i always said that was me long before they were on tv.  my life has been a series of disappointments.  i wish i didn’t feel like such a fuck up.  i wish i could communicate.  i wish i could wear a smile on my face, genuinely,  so i could smile on the inside, genuinely.  what’s wrong with me?  is it that i need God, Jesus?  he’ll carry me, make me strong, erase my troubles, make me feel better about myself and the world around me…  do i simply need to “think positive?”  fuck my life: that’s all i can think right now.  when will i get my livelihood back?  when will i feel fulfillment in my personal life?  will i ever find someone to make me feel special?  why do i continue to carry around so much anger and hate inside of me?  (.__.)  all i know is i’m glad i have a tumblr, so i can get this out and not get a bunch of bullshit advice and people showing fake-ass concern so they can feel like they did something good for someone.